So a good male friend of mine suffers from “I have too many women in my life …and they’re ALL in the ‘friend zone’ …I want a girlfriend!” I know a few guys with that issue. They’re so nice and such perfect boyfriend material, it’s such a waste. It embarrasses me to think that all the women out there are really too busy with ass holes to date one of my great friends (yes, I’m aware I am one of the “women friends” of these nice guys, but I don’t count). He’s too nice to get assertive. Most of the women he likes end up being taken or just “want to be friends.” Today, he decides he’s “closing” the lady friend dept. He came up with a nice informative memo to send along to these prospective ladies that try to give him the “friend” speech. We decided it should be printed up on nice paper with raised monogram:
“Dear Madam. We regret to inform you that we do not have any immediate openings for the position of Female Friend. Our rosters are quite full at this time. We will retain your contact info against the future eventuality that a Female Friend position should open up. As a matter of courtesy we would like to remind you that the advertised position was for a Female Lover. Said position is still open should you wish to re-submit your application in a manner fitting of the opening we are currently seeking to fulfill. Thank you for your time.”
-The Offices of ME.
Ha! I love it. He also sent along a couple of pretty great links to read. If you’re in the same boat as him, maybe it’ll give you good ideas or at the very least solace that you aren’t alone. If you’re not in his boat, it’s still pretty great stuff.
