back on “the horse” …again

if only we could all show such vigor & focus in our respective saddles…

I will not be diluted enough to make any grand promises of even keeping up daily, but I have told myself I should at least make some effort posting here.  Simply because I enjoy it.  I’m sure it’s apparent that my life has been consumed by school.  Oh has it.  I’ve ruled pretty much everything else out because this semester seems to have presented an especially large challenge in simply grasping and retaining the material.  It scares me not to “get it” because I’ve FINALLY chosen a path I WANT to pursue with the vigor shown above …so to have such a hard time understanding all that I need to know is consuming me to a very “all work, no play makes Ariel…”

…well, you know how the saying goes.  The other thing completely eating up my time and energy is self-inflicted.  I rescued another dog.  A baby that requires constant attention.  I swear, no more “casually perusing” the dog rescue sites ever again.  Hell, I could make a whole blog just posting adorable photos of my dogs, but my intuition says that’s filed under “Sad Crazy Lady” …so I’ll just speckle that stuff in.  Her name is Samus (Sam for short).  She is currently a bit over 4 months old, we’ve had her since she was just about 3 months old. She’s half Queensland Heeler and part mutt. The word you’re looking for is ENERGY (and very intelligent, in that scary way the raptors in Jurassic Park were …she’ll sort out the door knobs any day now).  But I love her already.  She’s work and has stolen some of my marbles in the process, but I’m glad she’s here.  Bowser went through a much expected spoiled “only child” phase …he still dips into it.   But, he is learning to appreciate her.  I suspect when she gets a little more mature he’ll adore her.  She worships him.  She has from day one and is unwilling to take rejection from him.

So that’s it.  Mainly two things monopolizing absolutely all of my time and energy.  Dogs and school. I am grateful for both but also dreamily think about the day when life opens up a little more for other things.  I have all these great clothes that need to be worn places, things to be seen that doesn’t involve dog barf or Netflix (my only current escape …Netflix, not the dog barf), conversations to be had that aren’t school-related, meals to be eaten that aren’t in my house, books to be read  that aren’t text books/flash cards/Google… I’m just impatient.  I’m honestly pretty happy as a homebody.  I’m just ready to absorb the knowledge (and REALLY GET IT so I can start getting BETTER at it) and for the pups to fully adjust and be okay on their own for some period of time longer than an hour.

The phrase “This is your life, right now, you’re living it” or any variation of that annoys me.  I mean, it’s true, yes.  But it’s annoying.  Stop pressuring me.  It makes me feel like I’m going to look up from all this and wonder what happened.  I’m already sort of beating myself up for how I spent my 20s.  However, what are you going to do?! We all figure things out at our own rate.  That whole “youth is wasted on the young” ….another worthwhile expression.  Heh, says the 31 year old, “shut up 31 year old” says the even older me.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I should head back to my school work.  Yes, this is technically considered my “Spring Break” but as I have been struggling along to get things that seem to come a lot easier to others, I am spending mine working on a massive project others have since turned in.  It’s not due until coming back from the “break.” But some don’t have to worry about it because BAM BAM BAM, DONE! was how it went for them…while others …are still working on the first BAM.

But I’m here, I’m alive and trucking along doing the best I can, determined to be awesome even when the awesome doesn’t come naturally (gasp).  Thought I’d put that out there for anyone wondering, or if nothing else, it’s a good reminder to myself.

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