Does this leotard make my ass look fat?

lady-gaga-ass

I am going to be Lady Gaga for Halloween this year.  Yes, I start thinking up my costumes starting November 1st for the following year.  I figured I had better do Gaga now for a few reasons.  First, I adore her.  It took a minute for her to grow on me, but I just adore her as far as fun pop figures go.  It is a newly appointed life dream to go to The Abbey on a Saturday night and dance around to a Lady Gaga marathon with her true appreciators.  I don’t think they actually hold Gaga marathons, not even at gay bars, she doesn’t have enough of a catalog yet …someday …someday.

Another reason I need to emulate her now is because she has popular culture relevance right now. I firmly believe she is better than your average pop performer in every way.  She writes not only for herself but for some other notable little starlets who have zero ability to come up with anything on their own.  She can sing, play instruments, is hungry for her work and most obviously…. the woman is fierce.  She will keep her image intriguing to keep people interested in her ditties.  However, one can never tell and I like her enough as a character to make sure I get my chance to play her for a day.  I don’t want to go in a  year or two and have people think I am Gwen Stefani circa 2007 or just a hum drum drag queen.  Lastly, it’s important that I go as Gaga while I can still pull it off physically.  This woman does not often hide behind, uh, clothing.

She is known for her crazy wardrobe, but she is also known for not wearing the pants.  I don’t like bothering with pants myself, but I generally wander around in my underoos in the privacy of my own home.  But I need to do this properly.  I have started  browsing around for the wardrobe.  I am planning to rock the makeup big time, throw on a blonde wig, fingerless gloves…but there needs to be the all important center piece of the look.  I discovered that by looking on ebay under “80s workout gear” or even more specifically “80s leotards” I hit a plethora of choices that would work.  I found the perfect one.  Actually, I think it’s a strange one-piece bathing suit.  Come time to put the costume together, all that matters is that it achieves the desired effect.  I recieved the central part of my “outfit” today in the mail.  Obviously, the first thing I did was try it on.  It is a gutsy decision to select this particular costume idea when you are haven’t shown your body at so much as a beach in a year.  I had to see if I should even dare do this before I proceeded any further.  Well, I am going to proceed.  It’s not an ideal situation, but it’s not horrific either.  Hey, Lady Gaga has some curves herself (hallelujah! how refreshing!)

I have been wanting to feel in shape again for a while now.  My most recent injuries have been getting in the way of really getting back on track, but starting now I need to at least get in some squats and lunges.  My biggest concern is the rear section.  I will have the benefit of wearing ankle boot heels.  Ladies, we all know heels do wonders for the bum and the legs in terms of flattery …but they ain’t magical.  My arse is doing some strange things with the cut of this leotard and I want my legs a little leaner.  That’s managable.  A Halloween costume is as good a motivator as any to pull it together and exercise.

Vanity/ health…toe-may-toe/toe-maw-toe.

If you haven’t taken the opportunity to check out her epic cinematic video for “Paparazzi” …you really ought to.  If you hate her, fine, I won’t hold it against you.  She’s not for everyone.  It will give you a full scale idea of what I am trying to pull off.  This video is neat cool inspired alien astronomical!!!!  You have to give it a second to get going because it is like a short film (just short of 8 minutes), but damn, fun times.

PS the photo above is what I am using as my Macbook’s wallpaper until Halloween to motivate me to get up and going running.  It’s pretty effective.

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2 Responses to “Does this leotard make my ass look fat?”

  1. DenzelWMNo Gravatar says:

    Hello , Happy late Haloween(:

  2. ArielNo Gravatar says:

    happy late halloween to you, I hope it was a good one :)

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